hardcore phenom vs tempus

i hope this is good tell me what you think tempus: it feels good to know that i deafeted relentless in our battle.Tempus:so i think that i am the greatest wrestler ever in this buissness. Suddenly the lights go out and a mesterious entrance music comes on. When the lights come back on tempus is laying in the center of the ring knocked out. The hardcore phenom standing beside him with a steal chair in his hands i modified my storyline thanks patt

the hardcore phenom wrote:

i hope this is good tell me what you think tempus: it feels good to know that i deafeted relentless in our battle.Tempus:so i think that i deserve a title shot more than anyone else in this buissness. Suddenly the lights go out and a mesterious entrance music comes on. When the lights come back on tempus is laying in the center of the ring knocked out. The hardcore phenom standing beside him with a steal chair in his hands

Sounds like a start mate, but one thing.. nobody has any titles yet so I dont think the title shot part makes any sence yet.

Yeah I agree.What you wrote is pretty good it's a start.But I think I should come out talk about how i won my battle against relentless, and how I'm the still the best rookie here and he learned that the hard way. Then say I would like to issue a open challenge to any one in the back who feels like getting their head bashed in.
After a few seconds no answer, so i figure no one has the balls to come out and face me, I start smiling and then the lights go out for a few seconds. when they come back on your standing over me with a chair.

How's that ?

its a great idea how about you make it this time

Alright I'll write it here and you can tell me if it needs changes.

Tempus ring entrance starts and he makes his way to the ring
b]Tempus[/b]: As most of you know I won the battle between me and relentless. I guss I won the war making me the better rookie. But I'm not out here tonight to talk about that, that's old news. I'm actually out here to issue out an open challenge. to any and everyone in the back that thinks they're man enough to take me on. With that said, whoever wants a piece, come get some. [
After a few sections of silence Tempus begins to smile. As he is about to leave the ring The lights go out leaving everyone puzzeled.
When the lights finally come back on Tempus is laid out in the middle of the ring as The hardcore phenom stands over him with a steal chair in his hand. The Hardcore Phenom smiles as he leaves the arena leaving Tempus lifelessly in the middle of the ring.


What do you think?

Tempus. wrote:

Alright I'll write it here and you can tell me if it needs changes.

Tempus ring entrance starts and he makes his way to the ring
b]Tempus[/b]: As most of you know I won the battle between me and relentless. I guss I won the war making me the better rookie. But I'm not out here tonight to talk about that, that's old news. I'm actually out here to issue out an open challenge. to any and everyone in the back that thinks they're man enough to take me on. With that said, whoever wants a piece, come get some. [
After a few sections of silence Tempus begins to smile. As he is about to leave the ring The lights go out leaving everyone puzzeled.
When the lights finally come back on Tempus is laid out in the middle of the ring as The hardcore phenom stands over him with a steal chair in his hand. The Hardcore Phenom smiles as he leaves the arena leaving Tempus lifelessly in the middle of the ring.


What do you think?

very nice guys.. tempus you know where the segments go once u guys have the final one .. to the actual segment topic

nice work.